So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36
We can live our lives holding onto yesterday. We hold onto past achievements, relationships, mind-sets, and habits. But, in order to have an abundant life, we have to be willing to let go of things and people of the past in order to make this present moment all it can be.
I remember when I was in a relationship years ago and couldn't understand why it wasn't working. I was constantly frustrated and feeling unsettled but could never put my finger on the source. Well, what I discovered after counseling, prayer, and intropspection was I was holding onto a previous relationship and was not giving the current relationship all the attention and chances it needed to flourish. I was comparing the new person to the old, I was trying to have them make up for the pain the other person caused me, I was trying to mold them into the perfect mate, and I was afraid I would be hurt and misunderstood as I was in the previous relationship. Which had me on an emotional rollercoaster and on a constant mission of self-sabotage. I was nagging all the time, I was controlling, miserable, fearful, and jealous. Nothing they did was ever good enough and they constantly had to prove how much they needed and loved me. While I on the other hand stood determined not to give anything of myself away and became the taker instead of the giver. All these things and more left me in a constant state of paranoia and rejection. Rejection because I couldn't see who they were or who I had become and so I rejected us both. The truth is they were living in the shadow of my previous relationship. And this shadow's light was coming from my romanticzing and holding onto choice memories of the previous relationship. This light was blinding me to the truth of what the relationship really was and most of all who I was and what I really wanted in a relationship. This was not fair to them or myself.
Well, what did I do to change this? First, I had to verbally release the old mate and embrace the new one. I had to get rid of pictures and gifts that kept me attached to them. I had to stop seeing the previous relationship under the lens of fantasy and see what it really was- the good and the bad of it. Then, I did the hardest thing of all, I had to heal. I had to do my work of healing myself of what I dreamed it would be, and what it really was. I began to ask myself why was I with them? What did they deposit in me and what were the constant withdrawls being taken from my life as a result. I had to heal from the hurt, betrayal and other emotions that kept me bound to that person. And then I released every soul tie (emotional and sexual) associated with them. And finally, I had to get rid of the what if scenarios and let that relationship be at rest and peace. I woke up! The result was miraculous. It was as if I was lifted from a fog. I saw myself and others with a clearer perspective. The frustration, anger, guilt, shame and fear went away. I showed up for the current relationship and allowed what the current mate had to offer reach me.
So as we end 2013, take inventory of what people or things you may be holding onto that is hindering your present moments. If you want an abundant life, you have to clear up the clutter of all the things and people that are getting in the way. Don't let fear of the unknown keep the love and prosperity that's waiting to reach you. So, let it go...let them go...so you can be in this present moment receiving all the miracles and blessings that are waitng for you to have room to receive them.
Peace & Blessings~ ULM