Monday, August 26, 2013

Searching For Daddy

Today we are faced with major issues of women that were raised without their fathers or with emotionally absent fathers. This has created women in search of daddy. This search has had women looking in all the wrong places to find him. Women have looked in bedrooms, bars, malls, religious institutions, and more. This sometimes unconscious search has left many women feeling tired, frustrated, unworthy, shameful, and guilty. It's time for the search to be over and for women to face the truth of who their father was and is and make peace with this truth. I am going to share some ways women can stop the search for daddy and move from self-destructive to self-love and harmony with themselves and others.
  1. Tap into the Divine- realize there is a power and source greater than yourself. Acknowledge and accept God into your life. Learn more about God through reading the scriptures, joining a discipleship group, joing a prayer group, attending a worship service near you, and incorporating prayer and meditation to your daily routine. As you put God first, other things in your life will begin to shift in the right direction. Starting this process is not hard, you can begin it now! Taking the burden off of self to make everything in your life work and make sense will lift long carried burdens and allow you to see things and people in a new light. But most of all you will begin the process of becoming your authentic self- who God created you to be at your core.
  2. Find Daddy- Examine your relationship with your father in all it's truth. If you don't know who he is or there was no relationship, then see it and allow the emotions to come. As they come allow them to pass right through you, not holding on to them. Then make peace with your father. Send him love and blessings. and pray for him. Pray that wherever he is on this earth or if he has made his transition that all is well with him and you forgive him for whatever hurt, disappointment, unmet expectations, and abandonment you experienced because of him. Realize that he did the best he could with what he had and knew. Allow the tears, joy, and laughter to come as you remember the good and not so good things about your father. Give thanks that you made it in spite of who your dad was and what he may have done. Release him to God and release all the issues and circumstances that you felt he owed you. Cancel his debt in your heart and mind and know that God is the great healer, provider and debt collector. If there is an opportunity to be reconciled with your father, with prayer make that attempt. But, for some that may not be what needs to be done. Allow God and the Holy Spirit to guide and give you wisdom on next steps and trust the process. If in doubt you may want to seek out counseling through a therapist, spiritual teacher, or pastor.
  3. Find Yourself- Look at who you've become due to your issues with your father. Examine deeply and make peace with yourself. Look within to see some destructive habits and lifestyles you have taken on and decide to make changes. Ask God to show you what to do and how to change. For some this may mean letting some relationships go, moving from a location, changing your career, and healing from addictions. How do you accomplish this? One moment at a time. Giving every moment over to God and choosing wisdom and love over complacency and negativity. Choose to live your best life knowing. you will be guided throughout the process. 
  4. Repeat Until Done- Stay with the process until you know it's complete. You may have to repeat some steps, you may have to forgive your dad over and over again. Finding yourself is a process and will take time to forgive yourself and shift your thinking about who you really are. But, stay with it, and you will see results. When you have had a life of drama and chaos, it will take time to shift this to peace and consistency. So, allow the changes to occur naturally as you change how you think and act. Be paitiant and gracious with yourself and others. Let go of offenses quickly and love more.
The truth is you may not have known you were searching for daddy until you read this, but realize that today you can find him and so much more. Today you can find God in a new and rich way, make peace and see your dad for who he really is or was, and most of all you can find youself. It may seem overwhelming, but the truth is this can be an exciting and rewarding time for you. For everything and everyone that you have to let go of, know that what and who will be replaced will be precious gifts sent from God.  More peace, love, joy, and fun can be yours by being guided by the Creator. Realize how much God loves you and allow yourself to see how this has manifested in your life.Today decide the searching and striving is over, you are going to let it be in God and watch how your life will unfold into a beautiful masterpiece full of great adventures and experiences. Peace and Blessings- U.L Muhammad