Saturday, December 8, 2012

No, You Didn't?

Have you ever found yourself asking the questions, "how could they?" or "how could they do this to me?" In these times we have been exposed to the negative side of a person. What are we supposed to do with the pain, disappointment, anger, and disillusionment? First, we are to give it to God. Cast your cares on him for he cares for you. Second, we are to be real with how we are feeling and process those feelings. Stuffing negative emotions don't make them go away, it just makes them show up later in our lives when we least expect them. Third, communicate the hurt and betrayal to the person if it was a personal attack. If the offense was done to someone else, then pray for everyone concerned. Good people can do bad things.Sometimes the best of us make wrong decisions and do things that we later regret. Clear the air, as you do this you may discover what was at the heart of their actions, which most of the time is some sort of inward pain that is causing them to act out negatively. Fourth, forgive them. Forgiveness is a process, but it will lead to your healing and release from the emotions associated with the offense. And finally, examine yourself. Look to see where you have hurt, betrayed, and lied and ask for God to forgive you. If the offense was done personally to you, see if you played a part in the situation and if so, take responsibility for your part. Pray for the person that caused the offense and those they offended. These steps are not for those that want to be angry, bitter, victimized and depressed. This process takes courage, will, and a dependence on God to get you through this tough time. Can it be done? Yes, it can. The WHY of what they did may never be discovered or understood, but you can make peace with it for your own emotionally health. And what you may realize is you can see how they did what they did and develop some compassion and mercy on them.


  1. So true Unitha...I never really thought about the fact that some people want to be angry, bitter, victims and are not ready to take the steps above. what you have written is helping me to realize that we often have to help the person get to the point of letting go of the things above. It's reminding me to pray that the Holy Spirit will work through them the want forgive and be healed.

  2. This is great post. It empowers us to deal with the hurt that we feel without incurring more hurt on others. These steps are a very proactive approach to insults. Thanks for showing us a path way to seek and maintain healthy emotions. Keep Going....