Friday, November 16, 2012

Ya'll Gone Make Me Lose My Mind Up In Here, Up In Here!

15-17 “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love. Matthew 18:15-20 The Message Bible

Many of us struggle with the dreadful "C" word, conflict. Conflict is a part of life. There is good conflict and bad conflict. Some of us are taught to avoid conflict, but that can lead to misunderstandings, assumptions, lies, and torn relationships. We have to use conflict as a tool to get certain things accomplished. If you know you have a worker that is constantly late, and doesn't perform well, you have to speak to them, even if it may create conflict. They may not think coming in late is a big deal. But, in order to see change and make the work environment what it should be, a discussion has to be made. Some people hate conflict so much and want to always be the "good person", they will set other people up to be the criticizer and to take the hits. But, God has given us a road map on how to handle it in the above scripture. If you do not belong to a church, then go to a supervisor, friend, leader, family member, elder to be the unbiased mediator and witness. Work to settle the situation. Make sure that you and the other person is heard. (Rephrasing is a good tool to use). Most of the time conflict comes into our lives to make us better.So, next time you see conflict coming, don't run from it, speak the truth in love, hear what the other person is saying, and try to come to an end result that will be for the good (and that maybe losing something or someone). And most of all, learn from the conflict, what to or not to do next time you find yourself in a similar situation.


  1. thank you for helping me deal with the dreaded "C" this is a good word. keep going...

  2. I love the fact that you included this "come to an end result that will be for the good (and that maybe losing something or someone)". I find that a great number of folks are afraid of conflict because the are not willing to accept the outcome if it means loosing period. Sometimes one wants to hold on to ones pride, people, etc...Being willing to go through the process you have mentioned above takes a very mature person, but with the Holy Spirit, wisdom and humility we can all be that person!

  3. Oh my!! How many people do you know who follow that scripture to resolve conflict? I know I don't. Well the church part at least. That would be too much like having "everyone" in our business even if it is one person from the church. I definitely believe there are times a mediator should be present. They help to keep things calm.

    Great word Auntie!

  4. Thanks Tee, yeah I would think you woul take the person to the Pastor or Elders. But, that can he difficult at times, but the scripture did not say your church!! LOL!

    1. Ha!! You are so right!! I'll have to keep that in mind! Lol